A Song For You
When I was younger I never saw him as a photographer, only an avid bicycle rider.
I think back now and I see that was part of his mystery. He always was interesting and funny and always likable and never made anyone feel bad or disrespected.
In 2018 I decided to be proactive and ask for a coffee with him.
This was the beginning for me and seeing a new light on the person I knew as my grandfather or “Baboo” for everyone in our family.
He made me feel heard and always asked me about things that I liked.
It turned out we have a lot in common.
We started off slow just meeting once a week to once every two weeks, slowly finding out more and more of what we had in common.
We both liked history, and we both liked to talk about politics.
We both liked bikes and both liked talking about current events.
Then one week during our coffee he starts reaching into his bag and pulls out this small Fujifilm camera, flicks a switch, and starts pointing it around.
I see his finger press the button over and over as he moves the camera ever so slightly.
He could sense my curiosity I’m sure, because of the bombardment of questions about this tool.
He eventually gave me my first camera a Lumix Lx5.
One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.
We continued to have coffee slowly becoming more and more frequent.
Both of us made it through the Covid-19 pandemic and my high school graduation.
Continuing our conversations week by week until they became day-to-day.
But towards the end of the summer in 2022, my grandfather started to notice he wasn’t feeling well.
I started noticing a slight cough from time to time, getting more consistent the closer we got to the end of summer 2022.
It wasn’t until he started having trouble breathing that he decided it was best to see the doctor.
The diagnosis was stage four lung cancer.
This was the first time I remember feeling a loss of balance not physically but mentally, this person who I’ve looked up to and who has inspired me more than anyone has been diagnosed with this disease that doesn’t care for anything other than itself.
How could someone be so caring and thoughtful but be punished by something so destructive and callous?
Immediately he started chemotherapy and was out of the hospital after about a week.
The first thing he wanted to do was get some coffee.
He continues chemotherapy for now and as the chemo and cancer destroy his body I can’t help but wonder how he continues to perceive life in such a positive way.
How does he have the energy to come out every day and see me and have full-length conversations?
He was unable to ride his bike anymore with his breathing issues and now needs a walker to help him get around.
In such a short time I saw how fast someone’s life can change.
In March of 2023, we were having coffee and talking about photography and different things.
We got ready to leave and he decided to use the bathroom before we left.
15 minutes go by without him coming out and I start to get worried.
My grandmother who was there with me at the time asked me to check on him and so I did, going up to the door of the bathroom and giving it a slight knock. I shouted softly into the door “Are you ok?” to faintly hear “No”.
My number one fear had come to fruition. It turns out he had fallen and hit his head.
My mind for the second time lost its balance.
The cancer had gotten into the brain requiring immediate radiation therapy.
Spending another 16 days in the hospital the first thing he wants to do is get a coffee.
How?
After everything is it that he can and wants to spend time with me, of all people?
He could choose to do any of his other favorite things, but why spend time talking to me?
I wish I could understand.
I wish these coffee sessions could last forever.